Self worth

After the intense last cleansing experience, the fasting brought to surface another important insight today, I'm starting to understand why Gandhi did it all the time :) I feel the urge to share it with you, because it is all-important. The destructiveness of not understanding our own unique and amazing qualities and the world changing effects it will have if we do. It is almost incomprehensible that most of us don't even have the ability to receive positive feedback when given to us. We don't let it land in ourselves, instead we joke it away, mirror it back or quickly returning another compliment to escape the effect. Those of you that already possess this ability to a certain extent, Blessed Be! Please, for the sake of all that is good in this world, Let the compliment land, and be sure to feel it's impact before saying thank you, then put your lips together tightly and don't say a word. Is it that hard? and if it is that hard, what does that tell us? Is it really supposed to be like this? Common! that is a complete lie. It's not!!! We haven't come into life to be invisible and petty. All this reminds me....a beautiful goddess of a soul that I've never yet had the pleasure to meet, says it best, please welcome Marianne Williamson with a round of applause folks!:

Our deepest fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

With Marianne's rallying call still echoing resonant in our souls, I will gradually withdraw into the night, but not before shouting one last call to arms myself:

Promise yourself that you will never let yourself down again, Now!

Death

Well, let's get ready to get to the core of human fear, the greatest enemy of all living, death! I know that all this talk of fear, death and darkness raises questions? where is he going with all this and why does he keeps bothering us with it, enough already! Well bear with me people, I promise you it will be so much brighter very soon, please hang in there as the rewards of this journey will be revealed very soon to both you and me :)

Yesterday we had a full moon total eclipse, these last two full moons have been really intense, last one I experienced almost having an accident on my motorbike, witnessed a run over dog lying in death cramps with blood foaming out of it's mouth and 5 minutes later a run over snake twitching creepily also in the road. Death is in most philosophies, religions and folklore thought of as a symbol of transformation signaling the end of what was and the start of what's becoming, when something new starts or is born some- thing old needs to end or die. Even though I've been asking for this through my spiritual practice, the intensity of each new experience continues to catch me off guard. It has to, to serve it's profound effect.

After having two coaching sessions over skype I decided to head down to the spa for a colonic, flushing out my constipated stomach, the remains of a pretty powerful liver cleansing program I did a few days earlier. I'm living in the top house of a nice resort in the mountainside of Lamai, Koh Samui, with a great view overlooking the sea and the vast coconut palms of the island. As I start descending the stairs a sudden and overwhelming feeling of death fills my body and mind, and the world outside starts to hang heavy and looming dark down on me. Having in mind the liver cleanse some days earlier, I'm starting to get visions of my liver being congested or damaged in this process and also feel a sharp tingling pain in my side. I am taking extra good care while climbing down the steep steps from the mountainside, feeling worse as approaching closer to the bottom, climbing on my motorbike and rolling down the steep road as I always do, before starting the bike down at the bottom. I am feeling like an already dead man riding a motorbike, thinking what a fool I was to just stop the medical insurance. Coming further down the road I try to get a grip and manage to surrender to the situation, if I die, I die. There is no need to worry about that while still being alive. The feeling keeps on being overwhelming, but at least now it's not fed any further with fear, at least not until after entering the spa and ordering a colonic from the staff there. I'm starting to feel worse every second now and share my experience with the fasting manager, who studies me with probing eyes and acknowledges that I am looking a bit pale. I can see myself falling to the floor in the near future if this continues to progress, asking them to call an ambulance crosses my mind, but do I really want to be at the Bangkok hospital at Samui with a serious condition? The thought of that is not helping either.. at least I need to sit down, quick! I'm explaining the symptoms to the fasting manager and is now feeling completely spaced out, my head feels clogged and the pain in my side intensifies. I can't really hear what he replies to me, except the words: "transformation", "full moon", "healing crisis" and most importantly "also this shall pass" Another friend also appears, and they're starting a conversation about their upcoming holiday. Sitting there observing them in disbelief, failing to believe this subject can be more important than my current condition. Reflecting on that for a moment and checking in, my symptoms seemed to have stabilized, that along with the fact that they aren't giving me any attention it's dawning on me that I may be able to go through this. Giving myself an encouraging smile, this new found courage increases as I find the energy to get up from my chair and get along with the colonic. I relieved my constipation by flushing out the block in my stomach, which also is a great reminder for all of us: A clean colon is the source of light and well-being in our lives, and a congested one can bring dis-ease and in the worst case death, so note to self people, check out the science of fasting and colonic irrigation to stay young, healthy and beautiful, it is beyond words incredible! Ok, enough fasting commercials, let's get back to the story ;) After the colonic I start to feel better, although still overwhelmed by this experience and still very much in it. Making my way to the restaurant, finding a table and sitting down, Nick the Briddish life coach and my new closest neighbour next door below me, comes to my table and tells me bluntly: "Are, I had a dream of you last night"! "You were going down from your house and all your steps where missing, you literally fell off the cliff, crushed your face in the rocks and died! it was awful man and so real! I was just getting to know you as a friend mate and now you're dead, I could really feel the strong emotions attached to it" he further explained.

Pay special attention to the fact that this whole experience started just as I was about to descend the steps from my house..

It's obvious to me that this was an experience of ego death. In the Buddhist traditions we can go through a number of these as we shed our old belief systems and values that doesn't serve us anymore, and thus come closer to our full potential. The intensity and perceived drama of this experience is created by the ego, desperately trying to hold on to it's old sense of self, this survival mechanism can be found in most living entities. For the experience to have it's profound impact it needs to be perceived as real. On the cleansing side of the coin this is called a healing crisis and can have quite a dramatic impact on all levels of your being, mental, spiritual as well as physical. Nevertheless uncomfortable and unpredictable it's quite harmless and holds an integral part of the holistic healing process. As above, so below.

Stay tuned for more happy days ;)

Master Fear

First of all fear is a great teacher, when confronted it's an opportunity to challenge ourselves. The reward from the challenge can take on whatever form that corresponds with the path we're on at the given moment, the reward is part of the challenge. A great symbolism for this is the old tale of the valiant knight on a quest to slay a dragon and finding his holy grail. Against all odds the knight manages somehow to beat the dragon. The fear can range from mild anxiety to total terror and can affect us very strongly on many different levels, to a degree that the feeling and experience of it inside and around us is perceived as very real, but the real truth is that it's just an illusion. As a natural reaction our ego will instinctively shy away from fear and it will feel uncomfortable in it's presence. The fear needs to be plunged straight into looked directly in it's eyes. To try making it go away by resisting will only make it stronger and cause it to dominate and haunt us as fear feeds off fear. With courage, faith and compassion it can be faced and conquered, or surrendered to, it will take a leap of faith! Think of it as the ride upwards into the sky with a old noisy airplane just before you'll be having your first ever parachute jump, the fear of doing something completely illogical and totally against the common sense of anybody that possesses one. After the decision has been taken and you actually make the leap of faith, you are falling, screaming on your way to the ground, still maybe in panic thinking that the parachute won't open. Suddenly it does and you feel relieved, everything becomes very silent.. you are hanging in thin air.. and finally lands with feet touching ground. You are awarded by endorphin and adrenaline rushing through your veins, you are totally present to this moment and have conquered your fear!

We will always prevail from fear as long as we can use it as an opportunity for growth. When the window opens, approach and enter arming yourself with courage, faith and compassion, and life's hidden secrets will reveal itself to you!

Out of your mind?

So getting into the light means getting out of our heads, or minds. So how can we get out of our minds, and who are actually willing to lose their mind on purpose, maybe you want to state: you are insane! I would reply: Better to be insane or crazy than a prisoner or a sheep! To be a sheep could actually be okey, but I would only choose to be a conscious sheep, a sheep that is aware of being a sheep.

Well, enough of the sheep bullying for now, they are pretty ok animals and don't deserve this harassment, they taste good too, even though they should be spared. They also give us wool to keep us warm in especially the long and cold norwegian winters.

Back to the main issue, how to get out of our minds. In western society our minds and bodies are filled with toxic waste, in the form of inputs from news and television, commercials filling our minds with an endless list of things that we need to buy to secure our false sense of happiness. This leads again to our minds planning on how to get enough money to aquire these things... Foods and consumables containing empty sugars, taste enhancers, fluoride, heavy metals...the list is endless. So even if you want to stop reading this now, don't because this is the interesting part! These toxins in their different forms are very real and needs to be cleansed out of our bodies before we can even start to think about getting out of our minds. Meditation and yoga are also great tools to stop the mind for raving uncontrollably, that little moment of peace is worth a whole lot more than any interesting conversation. Google detox to find a world opening of different methods getting these unwanted things out of your system.

We need to reconnect with nature, that is the simple truth about getting out of our minds and into our senses. We are basically stressed out, runs on adrenaline and have no longer time for life. Look into the eyes of your small children, or others small children, failing to do any of those, think back to when you were a child yourself. When the days where as long as weeks and the joy so intense that you could feel your heart wanting to explode. I promise you that this feeling of timelessness and unmeasurable joy can be yours again, you better start believing, I already know!