Three stages of truth.

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

— Arthur Schopenhauer, German philosopher (1788 – 1860)

Ayurvedic medicineman

Mustaq took me up to the foothills of Kashmir this morning. Me and Gulam, Mustaq's father and my personal chef took one of the Shikaras. (Basically a long and narrow rowing boat taxi that cost the ridiculous low amount of 10 Rupees to cross, equivilent to 1,20 Nkr or 0.25 US $) We went up to the foothills of kashmir searching for an ayurvedic medicineman, who all villagers could point the direction to along the way. We arrived to a room on the first floor of a building, entering we saw a dusin of pepole sitting/kneeling in front of him, without any ego attached from his side. After waiting and observing for 10 minutes we went closer, as in interested in what he is doing and waiting for our turn. I was surprised when he took me next as there were many coming before me. He waved me closer in front of him, I scurried closer while sitting on my legs and bowed my head down to recieve his reading. He put a shaking hand on my head for about 30 seconds, which could have been more, I relaxed and embraced the situation opening my defences, letting him get the information needed. He told Mustaq that there is an infection that could go real bad if not treated, still though I'm taking that matter quite peacefully as everything is impermanent, right! I got a note scribbled down in Hindu which we took to the counter and were given three different packages, six of a mix between some seeds and small dried berries, like raisins. These I am to put in hot water in the evening before and drink it the next morning on an empty stomach. One of the other packages contained a sticky, black paste with some leaf fragments stuck at some places and was to be put in hot milk in the evening for drinking in the morning. The last package contained some kind of spongy looking tree pieces or roots of some sort, and was to be had also in the morningtime with tea or hot water. We were instructed to return in six days for a new checkup. New diet is easily digestible foods, no sugars, no meat, no spices and surprisingly also no yoghurt, but I guess he has his reasons.

Then we wait and see!

Yours

Are

Exciting the mind

Rewarding ourselves it always comes down to stimulating the senses, thus making the mind excited. With the mind I don’t only mean the brain, but the sum of the physical, mental and spiritual totality that being human is about. There are six senses in total: Sight, Smell, Taste, Touch, Sound and Thought. Thought is included as I also interpret it as a sense organism, by the power of our imagination we are continuously creating our reality from the inside out.

The urge to excite the mind is the driving force in modern society and keeps most of us under it’s alluring spell. It seems impossible to get out this spinning wheel of effort and reward. Really, it is not impossible at all, especially if we first start acknowledging that we are slaves of the mind’s craving for excitement, without judging ourselves for it. The next step is to observe how the mind suffers when not stimulated, from boredom or negative thoughts arising , that keeps the wheels of the mind churning in an attempt of self stimulation. In the process of finding new ways to stimulate our minds our imagination is working overtime coming up with the next “fix”. Some can’t go anywhere without their music as the music sends the mind rolling to beats and melodies and is thus kept occupied, nothing wrong with that but please understand the nature of your actions. Food is in most cultures both socially and stimulation wise a very popular form of indulgence, and understand me right also about filling other basic needs of that of a human life. Foods’ natural and basic role is keeping us nourished and healthy, to be realistic few of us are keeping it to that, we overindulge and make it something overly pleasurable. And so the list goes on, the nicotine in the cigarettes are giving the mind a rush of nicotine and keeps it exited for a while, alchohol for even longer, drugs works in a similar way. The things we do for stimulation shares the same characteristics as drug abuse as there is always a chemical reward for our actions. A jogger gets his endorphin rush or the muncher gets a sedated high after a sugar rush. If you look at today’s news or movie releases it’s all about filling it with enough drama, sex or action to keep us high in our seats, sometimes also well above our seats or on the edge. These are deliberately made so to keep exciting our minds to take part of the drama.

The only sustainable method that I have found to silence the mind never ending quest for stimulation is meditation. You could argue that this is another kind of stimulation that keeps the mind busy, but I will argue against it as meditation has the opposite effect on the mind than seeking out pleasure. It calms, gladden and makes the mind peaceful, satisfied and joyful about life itself. From my point of view this is what life is all about, enjoying what is with no judgement or attachment to the outcome of this moment. Similarily yoga can also be practiced with success for similar effects.

To master meditation, patience, dedication and practice is all required, but the initial determination is most crucial as there will be rewards along the way that will lead you along on your path. After being able to silence the mind, which alone is an incredible achievement and doesn’t really take too much of an effort, you can continue by attempting to master your feelings. Feelings may be mastered and no longer necessarily need to be at the mercy of circumstances, with other words out of our range of control. Our minds gives birth to what to feel in any given moment and mastering the mind means we can also master our feelings as it all starts with impulse and thought and from there develops into an emotion, if you let it.. This is where being mindful in everyday life plays such an important role in the quality of our existence.

Start your meditation today not too miss out on such an important practice,it will unveil to you piece by piece the ultimate truth about your human nature.

Suffering, impermanence and "I"

A monk taught me less than a month ago that Buddha, the awakened one, wasn't any more mystical than a human being brought back into the shape of how a human being is supposed to be. Back to the way nature created him, free from the conditioning and identification of the mind, that is the root cause to all suffering in this modern age.

The only way to comprehend what this means is through self-study and inner/outer reflection, but let's give a little heads up what to expect.

Everything in our world is impermanent, in other words, nothing is forever lasting as we know it. (There may be an essence or a spirit that is living eternal, but it's too early to jump to that conclusion as everyone needs to be ready to pass through death to really know. The premature belief in a forever living spirit can act as a means to avoid confronting the fear of death) You and me will die, the sturdiest of mountains will in time crumble to dust and sink into the oceans. If you think that is depressing, think again, because really it's great news! As the world around us is in a constant motion of change or impermanence(Anicca), suffering (Dukkha) can never really last for long, that means that whatever is torturing your mind now will pass, so why suffer in the first place. When the concept of impermanence is understood on all levels of being, one starts to lose attachments to the outcome of events as it all merely IS. Clinging to something that is ever changing is an act of ignorance in the first place, as it's subject to change sooner or later and will eventually result in suffering. When there is a judgement of "good" or "bad" as an outcome or as a result of an event, the result will be either happiness or suffering, when there is no attachment to the outcome, there will be no emotional response. The root cause is that our minds get exited by dreaming or projecting a certain outcome of a situation into the future, call it ambition, planning or becoming. This way we create our own dramas and are curiously enough controlled by them as one overlaps the other and creates our so-called day to day life. This is in fact the whole secret, to let go of all attachments and fully comprehend the impermanence of everything. As the people of Zen says: "This too shall pass". Don't worry, you will still be able to feel like a human being, I would state on even a grander scale than before.

When there is no "I" or "self"(Anatta) there can't be any suffering. I can hear your mind complaining already, "what the hell is he talking about, I am here reading this bullshit, am I not?!" Well, that is exactly the point, this is a tough one, for "me" a tougher one than impermanence, although very close related as the "I" or "me" is also very much impermanent. In fact there are so many "I's" and "me's" in there that we all could have a big party, all of them fighting to be the next "One" in charge. An example can be that you promise yourself to do something good for yourself the following morning, like morning gymnastics or meditation, when the next day arises you totally forget about it, why? Because there is a different version of "me" waking up the next morning, with a different plan for the day. When we remember that we broke the promise to ourselves, we suffer by judging ourselves for having bad integrity, when this is so far from the truth as it can get. The fact that we are judging ourselves is in itself a proof that there is no single identity in humans, if it was who is then the person judging the other? That sounds like at least two to me. If that isn't enough here is one easy knockout question to everybody that is still resisting the truth; have anybody ever asked you the question "who are you?" and do you find it easy or hard to answer this question? what do you answer? Do you answer what you have done up to now in your life, or do you start to sum of your values? Both are wrong as they are based on previous observations and has no place in the present moment, where the question asked is: "Who are you?" and not "Who were you?" Continue to ask yourself this question and practice on people around you, please let me know if you can ever find one permanent identity that can be counted on to be solid.

Anapanasiti vipassana - the breath of life

Passed down from Buddha himself 2500 years ago, mindfullness with breathing takes us back into the essence of all living beings, the breath itself. For everyone serious about getting to know themselves, a silent retreat has the potential to reveal the basic components of how human nature is built up through the exploration of thoughts, projections, emotions, the ultimate truth, law of cause and effect, impermanence and the de-identification of self. The first step is to silence the ever chattering mind enough to actually be able to look inside. This is where most give up because of lack of patience and the mind's convincing self defensive nature, that will fight for it's right to dominate. It can result in people leaving the retreat early because the mind has concocted up a good reason to be somewhere else at the moment. The riches are vast for the ones that are able to unlock the secrets of the mind and patience is surely a virtue in this matter. With the development of single pointed concentration one will be able to access a sub level of the mind that has all the answers that we seek and also the answers to the questions we didn't even know we were asking.

The 16 steps of Anapanasiti is divided into 4 sections (tetrads)

First Tetrad, development of concentration (Samadhi)

1. Fully comprehend the long breath
2. Fully comprehend the short breath
3. Experiencing all bodies
4. Calming the breath

Second Tetrad, learn what conditions the mind.

5. Experience and contemplate Rapture/Joy (Piti)
6. Experience and contemplate Bliss/Happiness (Sukkha)
7. Fully comprehend the mind-conditioner
8. Calm the mind-conditioner

Third Tetrad, examine and contemplate the mind itself.

9. Contemplate the mind
10. Make the mind delighted
11. Make the mind concentrated
12. Liberate the mind

Fourth Tetrad, Contemplation and experience of impermanence and Dhamma

13. Contemplate and fully comprehend impermanence
14. Dissolving of attachments, dispassion
15. Letting go of all suffering (Dukkha)
16. Emanicipation, liberation, enlightenment.

When the four tetrads are fully contemplated, experienced and cultivated, the seven factors of enlightenment (bojjhanga) will arrive together. These seven factors are: mindfullness (sati), investigation of reality (dhamma-vicaya), energy (viriya), rapture (piti), tranquility (passaddhi), concentration (samadhi) and equanimity (upekkha). When these seven factors of enlightenment are perfected, then higher knowledge (vijja) and deliverance (vimutti) are also perfected.

The man who perfected buddhas teachings, the venerable Buddhadasa (slave of buddha) made the following statement about anapanasiti:

"You will discover something that everyone should find in order to not waste the opportunity of having been born."

Self worth

After the intense last cleansing experience, the fasting brought to surface another important insight today, I'm starting to understand why Gandhi did it all the time :) I feel the urge to share it with you, because it is all-important. The destructiveness of not understanding our own unique and amazing qualities and the world changing effects it will have if we do. It is almost incomprehensible that most of us don't even have the ability to receive positive feedback when given to us. We don't let it land in ourselves, instead we joke it away, mirror it back or quickly returning another compliment to escape the effect. Those of you that already possess this ability to a certain extent, Blessed Be! Please, for the sake of all that is good in this world, Let the compliment land, and be sure to feel it's impact before saying thank you, then put your lips together tightly and don't say a word. Is it that hard? and if it is that hard, what does that tell us? Is it really supposed to be like this? Common! that is a complete lie. It's not!!! We haven't come into life to be invisible and petty. All this reminds me....a beautiful goddess of a soul that I've never yet had the pleasure to meet, says it best, please welcome Marianne Williamson with a round of applause folks!:

Our deepest fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

With Marianne's rallying call still echoing resonant in our souls, I will gradually withdraw into the night, but not before shouting one last call to arms myself:

Promise yourself that you will never let yourself down again, Now!

Death

Well, let's get ready to get to the core of human fear, the greatest enemy of all living, death! I know that all this talk of fear, death and darkness raises questions? where is he going with all this and why does he keeps bothering us with it, enough already! Well bear with me people, I promise you it will be so much brighter very soon, please hang in there as the rewards of this journey will be revealed very soon to both you and me :)

Yesterday we had a full moon total eclipse, these last two full moons have been really intense, last one I experienced almost having an accident on my motorbike, witnessed a run over dog lying in death cramps with blood foaming out of it's mouth and 5 minutes later a run over snake twitching creepily also in the road. Death is in most philosophies, religions and folklore thought of as a symbol of transformation signaling the end of what was and the start of what's becoming, when something new starts or is born some- thing old needs to end or die. Even though I've been asking for this through my spiritual practice, the intensity of each new experience continues to catch me off guard. It has to, to serve it's profound effect.

After having two coaching sessions over skype I decided to head down to the spa for a colonic, flushing out my constipated stomach, the remains of a pretty powerful liver cleansing program I did a few days earlier. I'm living in the top house of a nice resort in the mountainside of Lamai, Koh Samui, with a great view overlooking the sea and the vast coconut palms of the island. As I start descending the stairs a sudden and overwhelming feeling of death fills my body and mind, and the world outside starts to hang heavy and looming dark down on me. Having in mind the liver cleanse some days earlier, I'm starting to get visions of my liver being congested or damaged in this process and also feel a sharp tingling pain in my side. I am taking extra good care while climbing down the steep steps from the mountainside, feeling worse as approaching closer to the bottom, climbing on my motorbike and rolling down the steep road as I always do, before starting the bike down at the bottom. I am feeling like an already dead man riding a motorbike, thinking what a fool I was to just stop the medical insurance. Coming further down the road I try to get a grip and manage to surrender to the situation, if I die, I die. There is no need to worry about that while still being alive. The feeling keeps on being overwhelming, but at least now it's not fed any further with fear, at least not until after entering the spa and ordering a colonic from the staff there. I'm starting to feel worse every second now and share my experience with the fasting manager, who studies me with probing eyes and acknowledges that I am looking a bit pale. I can see myself falling to the floor in the near future if this continues to progress, asking them to call an ambulance crosses my mind, but do I really want to be at the Bangkok hospital at Samui with a serious condition? The thought of that is not helping either.. at least I need to sit down, quick! I'm explaining the symptoms to the fasting manager and is now feeling completely spaced out, my head feels clogged and the pain in my side intensifies. I can't really hear what he replies to me, except the words: "transformation", "full moon", "healing crisis" and most importantly "also this shall pass" Another friend also appears, and they're starting a conversation about their upcoming holiday. Sitting there observing them in disbelief, failing to believe this subject can be more important than my current condition. Reflecting on that for a moment and checking in, my symptoms seemed to have stabilized, that along with the fact that they aren't giving me any attention it's dawning on me that I may be able to go through this. Giving myself an encouraging smile, this new found courage increases as I find the energy to get up from my chair and get along with the colonic. I relieved my constipation by flushing out the block in my stomach, which also is a great reminder for all of us: A clean colon is the source of light and well-being in our lives, and a congested one can bring dis-ease and in the worst case death, so note to self people, check out the science of fasting and colonic irrigation to stay young, healthy and beautiful, it is beyond words incredible! Ok, enough fasting commercials, let's get back to the story ;) After the colonic I start to feel better, although still overwhelmed by this experience and still very much in it. Making my way to the restaurant, finding a table and sitting down, Nick the Briddish life coach and my new closest neighbour next door below me, comes to my table and tells me bluntly: "Are, I had a dream of you last night"! "You were going down from your house and all your steps where missing, you literally fell off the cliff, crushed your face in the rocks and died! it was awful man and so real! I was just getting to know you as a friend mate and now you're dead, I could really feel the strong emotions attached to it" he further explained.

Pay special attention to the fact that this whole experience started just as I was about to descend the steps from my house..

It's obvious to me that this was an experience of ego death. In the Buddhist traditions we can go through a number of these as we shed our old belief systems and values that doesn't serve us anymore, and thus come closer to our full potential. The intensity and perceived drama of this experience is created by the ego, desperately trying to hold on to it's old sense of self, this survival mechanism can be found in most living entities. For the experience to have it's profound impact it needs to be perceived as real. On the cleansing side of the coin this is called a healing crisis and can have quite a dramatic impact on all levels of your being, mental, spiritual as well as physical. Nevertheless uncomfortable and unpredictable it's quite harmless and holds an integral part of the holistic healing process. As above, so below.

Stay tuned for more happy days ;)